I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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