She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
