shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
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