Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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