Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
