Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
