Your dad touched me again.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
You're like the curious george of whores
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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