Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
