No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
