I never want to see another naked old woman again.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
