hell yes lets make some ravioli
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
