Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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