and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
