And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
