I just made out with a guy for $7.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
