there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
