you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
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