Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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