If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
