You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
