so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize