Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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