Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
