the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
