It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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