So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize