well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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