just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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