apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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