do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
