I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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