Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
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