Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
