You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize