I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
you never un-have a 4some
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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