Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
The air was thick with penises
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
