He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
