It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
