Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
