What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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