Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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