You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
