We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize