The beer is more important than you right now.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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