I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize