at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
