White coat. Heels.
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Randomize
