Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
