Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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