he wants to bone in the snuggie
I cut my penus on the lid.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
