Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
