Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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