remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Randomize
