Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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