That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
