I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
