i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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