She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
