I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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