they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
