I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
