I must be too annoying 4 u.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize