The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Randomize
