You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
