areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
