Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize