Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
